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I won't ever forgive myself if I were to post any self-pity things on facebook or twitter so I guess the only rant space is here (where I believe no one knows unless they google my name or they are old friends from secondary school and beyond).
Feeling some obscure sense of depression and desperation. Obscure because I have no idea where it originated and I don't want to make wild guesses that may endanger my faith in anything. Feel like isolating myself from the world, from everyone. Feel like escaping... To any place where I don't impose on or bother anyone... Away from the current state where I keep guessing who would truly be by my side, or are just simply here without much thought, and could leave without much thought too. I want to escape and not look back... So I would never know who cares, because it would hurt to know who doesn't. I don't need to be around people... I don't need to seek approval... But it feels pretty damn sad when have no place to call home. When there is nothing to anticipate... When many things have lost their purpose...
Detached... Cold... Passive... Practical... Pride... Feels as if these are just a form of self defence. Being so afraid of being hurt that one shuts emotional self from the outside world.
What have I become?
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Clovergreen♥
There's more to things
than you'll ever know,
but I'm beginning to anticipate the unknown.
Smile,
because you are worth it.
Tey Xiao Wei
08021991
NUS FASS
Victoria Junior College
CHIJ SN
Aquarius Enthusiast
Extreme 蘇打綠 Sodafan
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